More Cowboy brilliance

This time from Cracked.com - Thanks again to Chris Hill.

Football and the most recent failure of "America's Team"

I'm an unapologetic fan of the Dallas Cowboys. I've been a Cowboy fan longer than most readers of this blog have been alive. (That doesn't mean you, Noland, you're too old for that.) I have felt the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat as a fan. From Roger "the Doger" Staubach and the 70's to "No!" Danny "broken wrist" White, Gary Hogeboom, and Steve Pelluer, I have lived and died with the Cowboys. From the inception of the Hail Mary to "The Catch" and the Seattle Slip, I have supported the 'boys. When the hick from Arkansas bought the team and fired the only coach they have ever know (a jerk, to be sure) to replace him with his successful college buddy, I stood by and continued to be a fan.
So, I keep on truckin'.
It is not easy to be a fan of the good team from Texas. No siree. Those of you haters out there know exactly what I'm talking about. You take every opportunity to hate the Cowboys. That's fine. I don't care. America's Team? Whatever.
Anyway, I'm fine with them losing to the Giants last week. They played poorly and didn't deserve to win. The defense couldn't tackle, the offensive line couldn't block, and the receivers couldn't catch passes. The kicking team played like high-schoolers and the offense (Tony and the crew) couldn't take advantage of a banged up secondary for the second year in a row. The killer was the NY Giants drive at the end of the first half. Stop them and they go into halftime ahead 14-7 with the ball to start the 3rd quarter. Instead, the defense decided to let Eli look like a Pro Bowl QB and allowed the WRs to catch passes and get out of bounds. The NY offense was so efficient that they scored the TD in 51 seconds and didn't have to use either of the 2 timeouts they had left. Plus, even the Baltimore Ravens can't expect to score only 17 points in a playoff game and win.
So now I am a Green Bay Packers fan. There are four possible outcomes left, including four possible headlines. Only one of them is interesting to me. See if you can spot it.

Perfect Pats
Norv Turner Vindicated or Norv Turner Proves Critics Wrong
A Manning Dynasty or The Other Manning Wins
Favre Wins, Announces Retirement from Football


Go Pack, Go!

The Onion Rules Completely

Thanks to Chris for bringing this to my attention - Jessica Simpson Completes Elaborate Plan To Destroy Cowboys' Season

Hilarious.

Here are some other Onion sports related triumphs:
Vegas Gives Patriots 1,000-Point Spread Over Chargers
Brett Favre Promises To Throw Ball As Far As He Can In NFC Championship Game
Dallas-Area Suicide Hotline Operators Get Their Popcorn Ready

Oh, this is too good not to add

Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance

Oh, right. Happy New Year and all.

Random items from the interwebs:
- From the sci-fi blog io9 and this post (15 movies to watch (or avoid) this year) - the Gotham Times (part of Christopher Nolan's Gotham City schtick)
- Pro Blog Design - a blog focused on giving other bloggers advice on how to “tweak your blog, making it more profitable, usable and attractive.”
- Comediane and gay icon Kathy Griffin with news anchor and gay icon Anderson Cooper talking about balls (via YouTube)
- Several items of interest in this story. First, "Hot Rod"? Really? Second, he's 27 AND a strip club owner. Wow, that's ambition. Third, who makes a bet about having to have your johnson tattooed? That's crazy.